Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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