can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
