Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
