a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
