Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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