Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
