PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
