I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
