Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
