i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
