You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
