that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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