Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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