Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
