That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
