people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
