It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
