what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
