Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
