remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
