we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
