Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
