well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Alive.
So much puke
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
