i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
