if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
