You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I love having hate sex.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
