your parents love me but you hate me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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