I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
