I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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