my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
