my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
