I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
