we're blogging at a bar
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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