'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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