I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
