I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
