What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
