You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
