Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
