You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
