1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
