a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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