I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
send nudes
from the living room?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
