I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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