ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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