He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
