i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
