is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
