fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
