just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
