ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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