The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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