I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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