I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
should my penis look like a turkey
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
