I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
