I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
