if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
